Lesson 1: Podcast

Podcast Summary

Self-defense isn't about winning a fight. It's about ending one — or better yet, never letting it start. In the first episode of the 36 Lessons series, host Shawn Vincent, a litigation and jury consultant, sits down with firearms instructor Steve Moses and Don West, CCW Safe National Trial Counsel and a veteran criminal defense attorney, to explain why the goal of self-defense is to break contact.

Steve credits instructor Claude Werner with the phrase. To Steve, breaking contact means doing whatever keeps you and the other person from making physical contact: creating distance, getting behind a barrier, locking a door, or driving away. If leaving isn't possible, the next step is giving the other person a reason to leave — with your voice, your body language, or a less-lethal tool. Deadly force sits at the far end of that range, used only when nothing else will work. And the moment the threat stops, Steve says, the gun comes off the target.

Don sees the same idea from the courtroom. He calls it "avoiding," and he says it plays well with juries. In a self-defense case, it all comes down to whether your actions were reasonable. Prosecutors look for anything suggesting you wanted the fight — social media posts, statements, what witnesses saw. A jury can agree you were attacked and still decide deadly force was too quick or too much. Every step you took to avoid the confrontation helps show you acted reasonably.

That matters because, in Don's experience, most self-defense cases don't begin as home invasions or robberies. They begin as arguments — road rage, a parking spot, a bar dispute — that escalate. Often the other person is unarmed. Someone without a weapon can still seriously hurt or kill you, but shooting an "unarmed" person puts you at a legal disadvantage from the start. Shawn calls this the armed defender's dilemma.

Breaking contact starts with situational awareness. Steve says to keep your head up and off your phone, scan your surroundings, and choose spots where you can see the most — like a restaurant seat facing the doors. If someone worries you, do something they don't expect: cross the street, change direction, or walk briskly away. If they follow, you've learned something about their intentions. Steve points to a study in which violent offenders said they targeted people who seemed unaware, not people who looked weak.

When someone keeps approaching, Steve uses a three-step script: ask, tell, command. First, "Do you mind staying back?" with a hand raised. Most people stop there. Next, a firm "You need to stay back." Finally, a loud "Stay back!" from the diaphragm that everyone nearby can hear. Don says this sequence shows you weren't the aggressor while revealing the other person's intent. Steve's advice: assume there are witnesses, and act like it.

If force becomes necessary, there are less-lethal options, though Steve stresses that "less-lethal" doesn't mean "non-lethal." Shawn recalls a case where a simple push sent a drunk man stumbling into traffic, where he was killed. Steve's first choice is pepper spray in a stream rather than a mist, used from a distance and practiced ahead of time. He also teaches a loose-handed "face thump" to startle an attacker and a simple way to protect your head from punches. Don notes the legal risk of less-lethal force is far lower than going to a firearm.

Road rage gets special attention. Don calls it "the bane of my existence" because both drivers often act as aggressors, and the worst cases happen when both get out of their cars. Steve's advice is to de-escalate — "You're right, I'm wrong, I'm sorry" — and remember you can always walk away from your car. It's insured. Don agrees that if one driver is committed to not fighting, there's almost always a way out.

When deadly force is used, the goal is to stop the threat, not to kill. Shawn points to the Amber Guyger trial, where the off-duty Dallas officer testified that she meant to kill the man she shot. Don, watching live, said he got "a funny feeling in my stomach." Shots in the back raise similar questions, suggesting the person was fleeing. That's why Steve trains students to assess every shot before firing another.

The episode closes on stand your ground. Even in states with no duty to retreat, Don says prosecutors can still argue that skipping a safe way out was unreasonable — so "you'd better be right." Steve likes that the law exists but hates the stand-your-ground mindset. "The more skills and knowledge you have," he says, "the more options you have."

Next episode: Lesson 2 — why firearms and self-defense training matter, and how your training (or lack of it) can affect your legal defense.